skinny_nana

JUST LOVE THESE !!!!

hey everyone ..! its been a while since the last time i've post here .. i have gained weihgt.
i feel horible for this .... plus my boyfriend leave me and yesterday i found that he use to flert whith my girlfriends at the past ... i feel so angry and hurt because of him and the people who didnt advise me to stay away from him ... because now im in love with him and its awa

when i finished my exams this time and i went home the peoples that notice my weight loss was my mom, and my sister husband........
i was feeling so proud and sexy ,until my best friend take a pic with me and told me that ive got sooo big cheeks and i will never going  to have a skinny face.
i was in shock i wanted to cry i was in my lowest weight and i thought i was perfect, i was 97lb she always judge me and she s like 130lb why doesnt she look how she is like and her fat body gosh... i guess thats not a real friend

these days im really  stress full.. i got only one month from today  to read and pass my exams ... im horrible student
i hope i will make it this time 

i just love her!!!!

its been a while from the last time i had posted in here....
im on my vacation for a month now and it sucks, all day im sleeping eating and eating...
im feeling so depressed these days .
i want to go back to university so i can control myself , i gained weight , my belly get big again and i have a double chin... ew ew... since i came home my mom always watching me .
i still have one month till i go back ..i cant wait im so bored all these stuff  my mom, my sister my high school friends too
i have many responsibilities here ,i missed my other life .. i cant even smoke here im miserable... 

last night it was one of my best nights ever....
i went out with friends and the guy that im DYING for him dance with me =] a sexy dance!!!!! i felt great because i lose some weight and i felt great when he touched me!
omg im so in love with that guy ..we met like 4 times and he doesnt show if he likes me ! he doesnt even talked to me.. we just have common friends
i like him the first time i saw him and yesterday one of our friends grab me and push me close to him i was surprised and then we started dancing regeaton!!!! it was so great we get really close... but i dont think if he really want me or something..
omg im in love im thinking of him all he time.... =/

today i went down to 45kg - 99 lb im happy....
but im not seeing  a big difference in my body... the only difference is that now i can feel my hipbones and touching them thats awesome..!!! but ...i want my cheek get thinner i dont like my face is blow..
i want to go down to 44kg its only 1kg far but im afraid that i will get sick...

=@
today im feeling angry and sad
im starting my exams tomorrow and im stressed too
i dont want to go back home 
i talked in the phone with my mom a few minutes ago.... im so angry with my family i want to live alone ..
all my other cousins are succeed in their life there perfect
there the good girls who get in university and they dont do things like me ...........
i HATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL these people who looking at me like i failed in my life like im nothing in front of them and there family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

i cant believe what my roommate just said to me!!!!!!
i was paint my toe nails and as i was sitting on the couch she said to me as a JOKE  that my legs are (amazing ,great, super)  and no she didnt mean that .... she mend that my legs are horrible
we use to do that joke the tow of us ...we are saying a lot of  GOOD words if something is horrible and ugly!!! she was laughing and i didnt say anything i was in shock .... 
this period im such an ugly bitch ... i  want to lose that weight  so badly!!!
 

its day 3 .....
and im srtartig to feel my stomach =/ it doesnt feel so good
im litle sad though because i cant see any difference im still so fat =(.....
but i have to be strong and keep going!!
 

im in day 2 of my fast ....its evening now and i want to eat something .... im thinking about popcorn and a diet coke!!!!
well these days i got a lot things in my mind 
i dont know what im going to do with my life
im studying and im thiking of droping out  i cant pass the exams ......  im only 18 other the other girls are studing are having good times have a nice boyfriend and a fucking great life.....
WHY I CANT LIVE LIKE THAT??????????????
everything im doing in my life im failing....its like a curse.....

fuck! fuck! fuck.....
i dont know what happening to me. its been like one week now and i am eating like a pig !
and i gained sooooo much (argggg) 
i want to stop it but i cant!!
i looked in the mirror this morning and i notice that my face was huge!
i cant see my cheekbones anymore! =(
i am hopping that tomorrow i will be stronger!
WISH  LUCK to the fat nana!

i have a party tonight and i dont know what to drink! it must be something with low calories!!!
i had  my new piercing yesterday and im so exciting! =)))
i thing it makes me forget the food! 
i start smoking again... when i need something to eat i just pout a cigarette on my mouth! thats not good but....anw

its 1:30 in the morning...
i must go to sleep because tomorrow its going to be a hard day...i am going back to college..!
i am little bit more stress.
i really dont know what to do with my life. I have so many dreams but...i think i do not have the right people close to me for support! i wish i could have more confidence and faith to my self...

im down to 103 lb today ! :)
but im soo tire and also i have stomach pains :(! i need to sleep!

 

i went from my driving lesson this morning! damn it i  dont know why but i was soooo nervous..
abd guess what..? i did it all wrong....=( i  drunk half glass of orange juice befor  i go..to get concentrate but it didnt work..

well its 16:45 and i am going good for now
my mom told me that tonight we are going to eat pasta :/ i planed to drink coffee and eat a low cal kellogg's bar..i dont know how im gonna skip that
anw i will see what i m gonna do!!!!!